Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A Sonia Story

Today I was out on the back porch when Sonia, the Haitian woman who showers/lunches Josephine, arrived at the apartment. I didn't hear her, so when I came inside I was somewhat but not so much surprised to find her hunched over my grandmother in her bedroom. "Oh Hello, Sonia!" I said. 

As she backed out of Josephine's room to talk to me face to face I noticed her pants were unzipped (fully) and not because I was staring at her fly-zone but because as she turned to talk to me she started tucking her underwear around and hiking up her pants. Now don't get alarmed. This is not unusual in the world of Sonia. I used to think she had an odd fetish with "urination" because she almost always pees with the door open if you give her a minute and she also uses the term "urinate" exclusively. She thinks it is often of interest to tell me that she in fact needs to "urinate", perhaps most especially if I have not chanced to have seen her in the act (which I have many, many times).

What I mean by this is that it takes a lot from Sonia to make me go "huh?" But today I did go "huh?" (just a minute ago in the bathroom of "The Boston Beer Garden") because Sonia came into the apartment this afternoon and it must have seemed like I wasn't there (because I was on the back porch gluing* shit to cardboard) and her first reaction wasn't to go "Oh no! Granma is here all alone! What has happened, Jessayh? Jessayh!?!?"-- a reaction she is apt to have over the smallest perceived change in goings-ons i.e. "JESSAYH?? JESSAYH?!? THERE IS NO OATMEAL!!! WHAT I GIVE GRANMA IF THERE IS NO OATMEAL!???!"

No. Her initial reaction (I am assuming but, again, I have mass amounts of evidence and experience on my side here) was to A. not see me/ assume I am not here B. immediately rush to the bathroom and drop trough/ "urinate" C. stand up, think for a minute, enter the hallway, see "granma" sleeping, sidle on in and begin to "rouse granma" in the signature Sonia-style, perhaps thinking ahh it's a free day for Sonia.

I say this because I know for a fact that Sonia is no rusher in a crisis, and also that this was not a crisis. And also that if it were then Sonia was, as it were, caught with her pants down quite literally. And also I think she might enjoy people watching her pee. But since I get to leave now when she comes over I haven't been as witness to the "urination"...Ahh I don't know how to feel!

*apparently the way to spell "glueing" is "gluing"...this seems wrong...blogspot!

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