So you know when you make a new friend at work in the morning and they hang out at the counter for a while and you're like yeah, this is my good new friend, he's awesome and then like a week later they take you to an experimental music thing in a loft that's going to be torn down and its awesome too and everyone's awesome three and they're all doing wonderful/crazy 2 minute performances and your new friend is like "Hey, so you wanna do something? You wanna do something for the show?" And you're like uhhh uhhhh  uhhhh uhhh I'm not...uhhh and in your head you're like (NO NO WHAT NO) but then in another little corner of your head somewhere else you're like (don't say no don't say no don't say no-- THE SECRET-- what's the secret? Don't say no think of something-- funny girl-- no no funny girl no stop thinking of funny girl you cannot sing a fanny bryce monologue no what can you do? nothing stop it) and then they're like, "Ok, so you wanna do the National Anthem?" and you're like YES OK FINE YES (?)

(And for some reason you decide what would make you seem more professional in this moment is to take off your sweater and clip on your fanny pack for the duration of the anthem, only to put your sweater back on and unclip your fanny pack immediately after(? ))