Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Monday, December 23, 2013

you know what's funny?

You know what's funny, is the message history between my mother and I that exists on facebook. We have just become facebook friends in the last month after years of facebook separation and our limited message history tells the story of how that friendship came to be. I am mostly a bratty asshole that changes into a unicorn at the end and my mother is mostly a foreigner trying to translate her natural grammar into the english language format. Enjoy;

  • Conversation started April 8, 2008
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    Me
    Hi Jess, Don't know if you will get this but I have sent you e mail on gmail and comcast and want to talk to you!! Without a cellphone it is hard to reach you. So read something I've sent you and call home!!
    XOX, Mom (and Dad)
  • April 18, 2008
  • Jarva Land
    Jarva Land
    mom, why are you making a facebook. don't make a facebook. i can't add you as a friend on facebook. ive been actively emailing you. i will check for the message.
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    Nice to hear from you. If you don't want to add me to your facebook, I am sure that you won't. That saids a lot.
  • Jarva Land
    Jarva Land
    mother
    i don't think you understand facebook.
    i didn't say i don't want to, i said i can't.
    why are you making a facebook? its for college children.
    what is erik's opinion of this.
  • April 18, 2008
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    I have several friends on it who are not college students, college students and other young adults. Why can't you add me on? I have sent Erik message on Facebook too. Stop being so hostile.
  • Jarva Land
    Jarva Land
    actually its ok that you have facebook b/c i want to send you guys a video of a song i wrote. you have to add the video application on your facebook so i can send it to you. please do this. i really want to send and record it
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    OK....when I click on applications for video, do I want to click on where it saids "I want upload a new video?"
  • Jarva Land
    Jarva Land
    no you just need to add the application so i can upload a video
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    OK.....it tells me I've already added video to my profile. so let me know when I can see it.
  • Jarva Land
    Jarva Land
    ok i might not be able to send it b/c we're not friends in which case i'll have to mkae up a false facebook and add you and send it that way.
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    Explain to me why you can't add a friend?
  • Jarva Land
    Jarva Land
    adding you as my friend on facebook is equivalent to giving you the password to my email, its not something you share with your mother.
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    OK.....I doubt I have the password to people's e-mail, but if you are not comfortable with it, that's fine.
  • April 20, 2008
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    JESS.......I want to put a picture up on facebook, but I don't have many of me. Can you e mail the ones you took of the fam at christmas with the red plaid shirt on?? Maybe I could use one of those. Thanks
    Talk to you tonight??
  • April 21, 2008
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    Pictures
    Hey Jess
    Do you still have those pictures from christmas with the red plaid shirt?? Please send them to me or let me know that you do not have them.
  • November 16
  • Janet Jarva
    Janet Jarva
    so glad we are friends !
  • November 19

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Southie Snacks: corner store edition or "Design, Design, Design, DEATH"

google image: falala


This morning I entered the east side market liquor store where I buy my morning teas, juices, and the occasional can of sliced beets and saw that Falala was working along with a new girl I don't know. Falala is a tall girl who wears glasses and may be related to Big-beard who also works at the east side market. She seems very funny although we have never spoken. I think we are good friends because whenever I buy stuff from her she is smiling and her smile looks like a secret smile to herself and also to me. It has occurred to me that she may be smiling like this at all times, but I choose to take it personally.

Unfortunately, the opportunities for initiating a sparkling (because it must be sparkling!) conversation inside the east side market are mostly very weak and limited to these two categories; "purchases" and/or "weather." This makes the close intimate friendships I desire and imagine with the employees of the east side market (especially Falala) hard to actualize, the highlights of our 4 month odd reality relationship being A) a one-time eyebrow raise made by Big-Beard ostensibly concerning the purchase of sliced beets and B) an eagerly misplaced interruption of a convo between Big-beard and Little-beard wherein I turretsed out "Do you guys like the platters!?"

original prefigurative drawing by yours truly:

So as I walked through the door this morning, expecting (as I have learned to expect) nothing, I was overjoyed to encounter the sound of a small blonde southern boy-child coming from the upper left hand corner of the wine section where the suspended television set (which is usually/sadly dedicated to sports events) hangs. The boy-child was speaking directly into the camera in that manner which entertains and also screams "I HAVE BEEN MOLESTED BY A CLOSE MEMBER OF THE FAMILY".

As I brought my purchases to the counter I again glanced at the television and discerned that the program in question was none other than "The Nate Berkus show", of which I (a semi-unemployed mid-morning riser) am all too familiar. As Falala rang up my items (secret-smiling all the while) I noticed her intently glancing up toward the television. All at once I was struck by a daytime talk tv realization which proverbially T-boned our long term mute-friendship;

 "Nate Berkus gets so strangely heavy sometimes... its like Design, Design, Design, DEATH!"

Falala laughed loudly and knowingly and said "Exactly!"

To top it off I had already signed the receipt so there was no awkward pause. I waltzed out the door. Man, it was beautiful.



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